I stepped into the lobby and walked through the garage. I couldn’t seem to find where I parked my car. Then I bypassed one of the concrete columns and turned to the first floor. I finally found the car. It was the longest time I had ever looked for a car. I got into the car and sat for a while before starting the engine. I didn’t know I couldn’t cry.
About a year before his father died, when he was still in a nursing home, he wrote such a memo. In addition to ridiculing the penetrating research, we expect more descriptions and suggestions. Some of the future is hidden in our memory. Although we are curious, our patients may benefit from the review. When I review the information of this hemisphere again, I hope to know more about you.
In the second memo, he wrote that I recently met a doctor with a good reputation. These materials should be of great help to the students, and it will be of great help to them to determine the most comments statistically. I estimate that these most important memory areas will be studied soon.
Since my father’s death, I have found an opportunity to think a lot about the authenticity of memory. In recent years, I have made a major breakthrough. Neurology tells us that it is obviously not a new concept to doubt something that we once admitted we must remember. Freud has found that subconscious forces can distort memory. This distortion may help us overcome the past events and bring pain, and then create some convincing but false explanations. However, modern neurology has clearly passed the questioning. Memory, like many fixed entities, has greatly promoted Freud’s ideas. To some extent, memory is obviously stored in certain areas of the brain. The only challenge we need to face when recalling something is to withdraw money from the bank account, and generally take the memory from those areas of the brain.
Today, neuroscientists believe that there is no such thing as a bank account or a box in our memory, or we can reach out and pull the memory from it. On the contrary, the line of memory body is in this line, in which neuronal activity can realize the purpose of reconstructing part of the memory of the brain. Although this part of the memory does not always work, it may occasionally accurately reflect an experience.
Memory is not a simple restoration of past experiences. Daniel schacter, a respected master of Harvard University in the field of memory research, wrote that on the contrary, memory comes from various information sources and fragments of information are recombined to form some new entity knot.
According to his observation, this kind of reconstruction may be influenced by many distorted factors. For example, for us today, a certain period of time can be easily recalled, but it may not be remembered for a while, or a period of time when we think we must remember the conversation but suddenly forget it completely. In schacter, committing other crimes in this way may distort our view on a specific event or actually extend our memory of that experience.
When most people recall our lover, they will always be convinced of that memory. However, in the process of remembering, our reconstruction has obviously changed that memory in part. Even so, this admirable argument may make me re-examine some memories of my father’s life more diligently, especially those based on his mother’s recollection.
Fortunately for me, they have a lot of memories and a lot of documents to prove. In addition to those documents that my father sent to my home to protect, I also found a lot of documents in their apartment that he didn’t have time to add.
Recently, among the most pleasant documents, I found a letter from Aurelia Thierree, the great granddaughter of Victoria Chaplin’s daughter Eugene O ‘Neill. At that time, she lived in new york and was about to have a brilliant stage career. It is believed that she was going to be a film director Milos Fumanhe, but at the same time, she volunteered to take care of the children in a district near Harlem. She talked about teaching the children to bring her happiness, but she also felt frustrated because she had almost changed their living conditions.
Today, I found out that Aurelia, my parents didn’t nod, and she often accompanied her mother when her parents hosted Victoria in Boston.
She wrote that I had dinner together, and those times were my happiest and most interesting memories. It was really meaningful for me to get news from my great-grandfather from you. Thank you very much.
At that time, I wonder if the intimate friendship between my parents, Chaplin’s family and their daughter was an exaggeration of my mother’s memory. Today, this beautiful handwritten letter from Aurelia made me happy to find that although my mother fantasized about entertainment many years ago, she told Julia a lot about her intimate story with Aurelia’s family, but it was not a sweet mixture mixed with fantasy factors.
I have also read some letters from Una. After her husband died, she wrote many letters with deep affection, but those letters are usually full of happiness and children with her. If I still doubt my mother’s memory, these letters can also have the same rebuttal effect. Geraldine just gave birth to a boy. In a letter in 1974, she wrote as if she were at the top of the world and everyone else was away from prison. It was wonderful.
Father has treated some patients, and their families will also write letters. Those letters are also another form of affirmation or emphasis. I still remember his complicated family methods of examining patients, and I occasionally meet one or two people who have been treated by my father.
Two months after my father’s death, I went to University of Pennsylvania to give a speech to science students. At the end of the speech, a woman with five heads or maybe older told me that her job was to help problem children and disabled children after completing my introduction.
She said, I know your father. I was treated by him when I was a girl. I hope I can talk to you one day. I’d like you to share my memories.
We soon wrote to her about her father’s treatment, which reminded me of several other cases in which she was not the only one in her family who had been treated by her father.
You see, she said that before she met your father, he had helped my father through the severe depression, and at that time, he had to guide my mother who was stressed by her father’s illness, so he would meet with both of them at the same time to help her father get over the depression and give her feelings so that she could keep a calm mind in dealing with her father.
She said that her father used to be a very energetic person, but when he was nearly five years old, he temporarily lost his ability to walk because of an orthopedic problem. An orthopedic expert handled the matter extremely badly. He told me that his father’s situation was likely to be reversed, and he estimated that he would soon be unable to leave the wheelchair.
It was at that time that he suffered from severe depression, and soon after he continued to work, he almost refused all outside activities until he or his mother thought of connecting with your father, who was a friend of his when he was a big boy.
I don’t know exactly what your father did, but my mother said that the orthopedic expert made him very angry. I think he took my father to see another doctor, another Thaksin expert, but all the treatments he gave my father were in the field of mental illness. Finally, he successfully helped him get rid of depression, and my father was able to walk often the next year. Thank God, he didn’t leave the wheelchair at all.
She said that about a year later, she encountered a crisis in her life.
At that time, I was 18 years old, and I wanted to leave college. Although this idea was not uncommon at that time, a good girl wouldn’t do that when I was growing up, and I have always been a good girl, trying to meet my parents’ expectations, but suddenly I realized that I wasn’t ready to grow up. I didn’t want to enter that environment. I was more panicked than worried about my parents’ reaction.
Tell the school that I want to take a year off. After that, they said that if I want to come back, I have to take a sick note. They let me see the school psychiatrist first. I think it’s a problem for the school to keep such a doctor. I hate that doctor and refuse to talk to him.
Finally, I had to call my parents. My father said that a friend of mine was in Boston, so he brought me to your father. I’m quite sure that my father hoped that he would calm me down to help me rebuild my confidence and send me back to me. Your father said that I wanted to take a year off because I didn’t know what I was going there at all. He said that I didn’t have to be afraid of what it would cause. Later, he said that once I had the opportunity, I would accumulate more life experiences than find an interesting job to go abroad or other parts of the country. Broaden your horizons or walk around happily. Don’t always feel that there is a sword hanging over your head. When I am really ready to return to school, I will definitely know that he also said that he can expect that no matter how many scary remarks are put in the school, they will probably be very happy to accept my return.
The fact is that he has been giving me strength, giving me serious warnings and giving orders is meaningless to me. He has never made me feel that I can help others, but has helped me to know myself more fully and grow into a young woman with strong judgment. He always tells me everything with a kind friend, and when I finally make up my mind, he also works very hard for me.
At the same time, he also understands how much I love my father and know that I don’t want to hurt him. He is very cautious. I mean, he can fully understand the pain I have experienced and make a decision. What kind of criticism may it cause when all this is exposed to my father? It is the best choice for me and my father to make the final plan. I feel very lucky. After that, my father and I became closer.
Finally, she told me that I didn’t go back to school until I was finally ready.
She went on with the law and gradually became interested in the problems faced by teenagers and children. After having a happy marriage and several children of her own, she turned to develop a new career and became a special education. She advocated that she had achieved great success in this job.
I was most impressed by your father’s rare ability, which made him surpass my family’s friendship. I firmly recognized that I found everything that could bring me a sense of security. On the one hand, I am a psychiatrist, and on the other hand, he is a trustworthy friend. It is very rare for a person to play these two roles well at the same time. I have been trying to keep your father’s practice in mind when my children’s parents say goodbye at work. Until today, I am very grateful to him for giving me this precious gift.
I got to know this lady better after a period of correspondence. At Thanksgiving, she took her mother to Boston and invited me to spend the holiday with them. Her mother is 85 years old, but she still clearly remembers the assertion that her husband can never walk again. The orthopedic surgeon made my father angry. She also remembers the excitement when she accompanied her husband and my father to fish near his house a few years later. This reminds me of the fishing tackle box. The two fishing rods with reels are still in my garage.
We should be wise to realize that although memories may often mislead us, those memories left in so many notes and documents of fathers of so many different people complement each other and promote each other. Anyway, my father left so much information, even though I have not finished browsing the parcel box, and the documents I have carefully studied are only a small part. Do I still have a chance to finish reading those things? I doubt that if he is still alive, he might suggest that I leave them to someone in the younger generation, perhaps to a medical historian or. An archivist in the field of modern neurology. Maybe this person is studying the development of the department in my father’s time. Maybe he can find something valuable from the information he left.
I think my father probably told me that most of these old things are records of someone’s life in the past century, and I should not cling to them any more.